Momentary SAHM Blues, or No, I Don't Want to Go In the Playroom Right Now!
I think I need to join a real-life book club or writer's workshop. Something for which I'll have to get out of the house at least once a month. When I was teaching Wilton cake decorating classes, I was guaranteed to get out once a week (two at first). And when I quit, M. said he'll definitely help me get out of the house for a "me" night once a week. But I stopped teaching in December, and have I had any "me" nights? No. Of course, this is just as much my fault. I could make it happen and I should. It's like teaching school. You'd much rather go to school than take the day off because getting ready for a sub is so much work. So it's just easier to go to work yourself. It's the same with being a SAHM/house manager. For me, at least. I'm sure some dads have it all under control and the kids don't bat an eye if the mom steps out.
I guess it's just with M. building the shed in the backyard with only the help of his dad, my dad (sometimes), and a friend, I've been a single mom since the middle of May. And it's a big shed. A car could fit in there and it has a second story. So when he's not working late, he's outside after work doing the shed and working on it all weekend until after kids are in bed. So it's all kids, all the time. And, well, I didn't want to kvetch, but since I am already... The other night, Baby Sister was still wide awake at 11:30 pm. (I had let her take a very late nap that day.) This was after Little Guy had been up until 12 am the night before with a stomachache and then I had to get up at 6 that morning with Baby. So I was tired that night, and, of course, had been with the kids all day, but Baby was still going strong. So I'm carrying her around and M. is lying on the couch watching TV. Then at about 11:45, he starts asking me about Fahrenheit 451. At last, adult conversation!! About books!! So I answer his questions, he takes the book upstairs and goes to bed! This is a man who reads maybe 2 books a year, if that. (Yes, I married a non-reader.) Leaving me to stay up until 12:30 or 1, when Baby finally fell asleep. I was so jealous of his free reading time and his going-to-bed-whenever-I-want attitude.
OK, I'm done. If I had labels for this blog, this one would be boring kvetching.
I guess it's just with M. building the shed in the backyard with only the help of his dad, my dad (sometimes), and a friend, I've been a single mom since the middle of May. And it's a big shed. A car could fit in there and it has a second story. So when he's not working late, he's outside after work doing the shed and working on it all weekend until after kids are in bed. So it's all kids, all the time. And, well, I didn't want to kvetch, but since I am already... The other night, Baby Sister was still wide awake at 11:30 pm. (I had let her take a very late nap that day.) This was after Little Guy had been up until 12 am the night before with a stomachache and then I had to get up at 6 that morning with Baby. So I was tired that night, and, of course, had been with the kids all day, but Baby was still going strong. So I'm carrying her around and M. is lying on the couch watching TV. Then at about 11:45, he starts asking me about Fahrenheit 451. At last, adult conversation!! About books!! So I answer his questions, he takes the book upstairs and goes to bed! This is a man who reads maybe 2 books a year, if that. (Yes, I married a non-reader.) Leaving me to stay up until 12:30 or 1, when Baby finally fell asleep. I was so jealous of his free reading time and his going-to-bed-whenever-I-want attitude.
OK, I'm done. If I had labels for this blog, this one would be boring kvetching.
posted by Camille at 1:06 PM
4 Comments:
Boy can I identify. I run the risk of being quite bitter about my lack of me-time. If you can, lobby for that night for you (that is, after that shed is built...)!
Oh, yeah. I finally took the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" tack. I've been mowing the lawn lately and leaving kevin with the kids...
You sound exhausted. I hope you get your YOU time soon. The library might know of a book club. They usually have lists of those.
I worry that will soon be a concern of mine! My hubby is a surgical resident, works 80+ hrs/week. His life consists almost entirely of eating, working, sleeping, and cleaning the dishes (the one chore I give him to do). It will be interesting to see how he fits any baby care and playtime into that schedule.
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